6/25/97 Love
(If it is welcome and a blessing, send it on to others,Lee)
There is a question that has been on my heart. Why do we need to love? I understand love(thatıs a plus emotion and no I really do not understand it!) and what it means.
Ever have a friend move out of your life? Do you remember that emptiness. Perhaps there is a great sense of loss. Perhaps you have recently watched children moving out of the "nest". Perhaps a friend or relative has passed on. Maybe its that you feel like you have "blown" it.
When I became a Christian only a few short years ago, I had been hurt so much that I began to build high, irremovable walls. Then I invited Jesus into my heart. That initial "piercing" of my heart, of my inner being, led to a flow that has greatened in a few short years.
These things called feelings began to move in a way that threatened my whole being. I realized yesterday, that it has taken me a long time to trust people on any level. God is moving me in a direction that is forceful. I can still try to row upstream, but the current is tirelessly moving towards God and all that He has for me. Part of what He has for me is emotions that are gradually being reshaped from the damaged, hurtful state they were in when I came to the Lord.
I will be 42 in a little more than a week. Two 16 year old daughters, a 14 year old son, and a 10 and 11 year old son and daughter I havenıt seen in a year(a before Christianity problem that was unable to be rectified). I never really cried until a little more than a year ago. And then I started to see the people through Godıs eyes. They were all His children.
Yesterday one my friends came here with a dream about me. She said that I had been called to this area, and that there were many damaged Christians who could ³relate² to me. I am never certain why someone would want to "relate to me", but I believe she is right. I am sure I donıt meet many peopleıs idea of a pastor or church leader. Unfortunately for them I am not really too concerned. It gives me added prayer I might not have!!!
Some of you have been deeply hurt. Some have suffered loss. Some of you have been the oppressor and some of you the oppressed. The answer for either group is still the same. His name is Jesus. When I became a Christian, I didnıt want to hurt anymore. So when God began to see me through this renewing, damaged memories began to be healed, pain began to disappear. The people that have come through this ministry have been damaged, and yet God is magnificent at restoring them to a place of whole and healthy.
When you have children you experience pain. I struggle with discipline. (Try growing up a drill sergeantıs child in the 60ıs.) You want to walk your childrenıs walk. Stop them from pain. Protect them from everything. Keep them from your mistakes. When you donıt have children you develop relationships that sometimes leave you in the dust, with results that frequently cause us to shut down.
So why did God give us love? My second question was "Ever have a friend move out of your life?". Well, I have had many. And if you want to feel isolated sometimes, become a church leader, enter ministry. Your emotions are stretched. You either have compassion for people or you become very cold and walled in. Thank God I am the former, though it would be easier to be the latter.
I had someone move into my life and become such a part of my life and then go on with God. And I realized it hurt. In a few days I developed a love for a person I hardly knew. A man who has so much to offer the Kingdom. I realized God had once again opened the eyes of my understanding. He had healed an area of my life that once moved on without knowing people.
Many of you who receive this letter so often write me and have such pains for others. I often ask God what are emotions for. I think I understand that the greatest gift that is part of our makeup is the emotional realm. The gift of love being so high. ³Why would I want a gift that causes me to be vulnerable?² I donıt have an answer better than that. I see emotions that are balanced, tempered by the hand of God, making life so much more enjoyable. Yes, I miss this person. But the call that is on his life and the compassion that God has given me for him, he is and will be spoken for in my prayers. I believe I will see him again and there is that.
You are probably saying where is the encouragement, you have just caused me to review pain. Let me ask you, did you blow it yesterday? And did you go to God and ask Him for forgiveness? Maybe you receive this letter and have never asked God for forgiveness. Ask Him today. I think I am starting to see people as God sees us. Through eyes of love.
Many of you write and say you want revival in your land. Your revival begins in your heart. You will feel the love for people and the aches as they stumble. Many write with prayer requests for loved ones. It is in your heart that this process has begun. So frequently I receive a letter or even a call. "I blew it. The thing I said I would never do I did." You are in "good" company. Paul, the apostle, records an eye opening passage that says the same thing about himself in the book of Romans.
Allow God to be God in your life today. Let Him heal those areas of your life that have been troubled, pained, damaged. Do not shut yourself out from the heart of God. The life that we breath is a gift from His heart. It is the life of God that dwells within us. Take a deep breath and receive the life He has given you. His love for you exceeds your beliefs.
Have you watched children heading off for a life of their own, recently lost someone, or have watched someone you love become debilitated in illness(that one is for me), perhaps a friend has left your city.? Maybe its a spouse who just up and left. Brothers and sisters, His banner over you is love. I have endured some of these situations and grown from it. God has caused me to have more love, realizing how precious this life is.I know that in the middle of this time it hurts, and perhaps it feels like nothing will heal the pain.
The encouragement is God has seen your pain. He is there on your behalf. He desires that you be whole, healthy. His love for you is seen in your friends, in the beauty of the world He has created. His love is found in your precious times with Him, as He washes over you with compassion, the warmth of His love like a healing balm. In these times go see Him. He is waiting.
Dear Friends:
Selah.
Shalom.
We pray for you, each and every day. If this is an encouragement to you. Please tell us, and please email it to someone else. If you have a prayer request, please mail it to us. We want to stand with you, battling spiritual wickedness, seeing people made free. We want to serve our brother and sister.
In the Service of Christ for His Glory,
Lee Johndrow
For more information on this ministry or to receive our newsletter
please mail us at:
154 Paddock Road
Springfield, Vermont 05156
For those who support us in prayer and deed we appreciate it.
Thank you,
Lee & Tina Johndrow
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